pain holds you captive

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…there are those who are safe and who listen with open hearts and tender hands. You cannot heal a wound that is gaping wide and covered with infection. Let someone see you. I know. I know it is terrifying. But one day, you will find—if it hasn’t happened already, that it gets harder and harder to get yourself out of those internal fortresses. Continue reading 

pain, untended, brings anger

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It fills you with rage When someone has taken your power from you, whether that be by rape or abuse or by overturning your hand when you thought that you were in control, there are many, many feelings that tangle … Continue reading 

Everybody Hurts

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Sexual abuse and tampering has a lasting affect on every victim. In my opinion, how that plays itself out in the masculine world is often much, much more silently poisonous than in the lives of women. Our society seems to have a better openness or understanding of how to deal with sexual violence and damage in its female populace far more than it does that of their male counterparts. Continue reading 

pain makes you dishonest

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I believe that there is a God in heaven whose heart not only breaks over the injustice of abuse (whether by another’s hand or our own) but who actively provides the way back to hope. Who offers his hand in pity and protection and, although we do not feel it when the slice of life cuts through our very core, I believe that he is good. Continue reading 

there are places i remember

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First of all, I realized that of everything I have ever delighted in or valued, of all those memories and things that, even thirty-some years later could bring a smile to my lips, the things that are so close to my heart that I can call them to mind in an instant—recollecting taste, smell, feel and feeling—nothing felt quite so home and delightful and, well, just wonderful as that very moment. Continue reading 

oh, just moving mountains

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I do not know everything that I need to put in his lifetime backpack. Pay your bills on time. Live within your means. How to find an apartment. Be good to people. Treat girls with great tenderness and respect their strength. Never sell out. Honour yourself. Honour others. Faith. Prayers. Strength of self and character. Laundry/cooking/driving tips. I know those things. Continue reading 

those scattered leaves don’t lie

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I have faith that with each passing season, I will grow to be more and more the kind of person that I want to be. That I’m called to be. I am eternally grateful for those whose wisdom is greater than my own—who have perhaps seen more winters than I, or whose barometer is more steady, whose eyes are trained to some unseen spot on the horizon, whose interest in the changing seasons of my life is to enjoy them along side me, those who share their harvest in the lean years and allow me to share mine the same. Continue reading